Wedding Invitations Addressing Etiquette, Part 1

As promised earlier in the week while discussing wedding invitation wording, read on as we discuss how to list names and address your wedding invitations! From inviting a Colonel in the military to noting that a set of divorced parents are hosting the ceremony together, some seemingly sticky predicaments have easy solutions by simply finding the format that best fits your situation.

To begin, start with the names of those issuing the invitation – traditionally the bride’s parents. Evolving family structures and financial dynamics often make this the trickiest part of the process.

Most married couples follow the standard format of:

Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Michael Johnson

If the couple issuing the invitation has different surnames, however, an “and” is to join them:

Ms. Jessica Leann Smith and Mr. Anthony Michael Johnson

If the bride and groom are hosting on their own, omit the first line, and jump to:

Together with their families
Miss Elizabeth Marie Smith and Mr. Gerald Joseph Johnson…

If the bride’s parents are divorced but hosting the wedding together, list the names of the bride’s parents at the top of the invitation. The bride’s mother’s name should be on the first line and her father’s on the line beneath it – do not separate the lines with “and.” If the bride’s mother has not remarried, use “Mrs.” followed by her first name, maiden name, and married name.

Mrs. Jessica Johnson Smith
Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Allen Smith
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Elizabeth Marie Smith

If a set of divorced parents have remarried, you must first note that, traditionally, only the parents’ names appear on the invitation. That said, if you would like to include your step-parents, it’s perfectly acceptable to list them. Place your mother’s (and her husband, if she’s remarried) first name and include your last name.

Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Allen Smith Mr. and Mrs. Nolan Andrew Peters
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Elizabeth Marie Smith

While it is not traditional to include a deceased parent, many brides and grooms feel strongly about doing so. This wording should make it clear that the deceased parent is not issuing the invitation, and it should be noted that courtesy titles may be awkward and are to be omitted. If one parent is still living, that parent should issue the invitation. If your mother has not remarried, place “Mrs.” before her name.

The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of  Elizabeth Marie Smith
daughter of Anthony Johnson and the late Jessica Smith to
Gerald Joseph Johnson…

If neither of parents are alive, the invitation may be issued by the bride and groom or other relatives, such as grandparents – in which case, you should handle it as you would divorced parents who have remarried:

Miss Elizabeth Marie Smith and Mr. Gerald Joseph Johnson request the honor
of your presence at their marriage…

If the bride has been married before, and her parents are issuing the invitation, they should include your married name:

Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Allen Smith request the honor of your presence at
the marriage of their daughter Elizabeth Marie Robertson

Or, in the same situation, if the bride and groom are issuing the the invitation themselves, it is to read as:

Elizabeth Marie Robertson and Gerald Joseph Johnson request the honor of
your presence at their marriage

What’s a bride to do if her parents are hosting – but your groom wants to include his parents on the invitation? Or, what if you would like guests to contribute to a charity rather than give gifts? There are too many scenarios for one post alone, bride-to-be! Read on next week as we answer the above questions…and more!

Looking for further wedding inspiration, soon-to-be Mrs.? Follow my Pinterest and WedAlert’s Pinterest for wedding ideas ranging from DIY tutorials to seasonal wedding flowers!

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